06.11.10
Posted in Bible, Family, Soul-Winning at 1:09 pm by Administrator
We recently began a new series of lessons on Sunday nights on the subject of soul-winning (in time these recordings will be available on our website as well as our Sermon Audio page). In an effort to compliment this subject and encourage our families to worship God and study scripture in the home, we’ve prepared some family devotions on this subject. We’ve done what we can to distribute these lessons in a printed format at church, but the lessons have also been uploaded to our website under “Family Devotions” or you can access these lessons by clicking here. The issue of personally leading people to Christ is of great importance obviously, but there’s probably nothing that will more positively impact a home spiritually that actually conducting family worship. The old adage is that “the family that prays together, stays together.” If that’s true, there are an awful lot of families that aren’t praying together and I feel sure there are even more families that rarely if ever read or study God’s word together. There are nine-weeks worth of lessons in these soul-winning devotions, with three devotions per week. Whether you use this or just pick a Bible subject or book, regular family devotions will be a blessing to any home.
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01.28.10
Posted in Family at 8:54 am by Administrator
1. Immediate (Unquestioning) Obedience (Eph 6:1-3)
All of us have had the painful experience of getting behind a mother in the grocery store telling the toddler (or adolescent!) in the buggy not to touch that twenty times. This is probably the rule rather than the exception. For some reason, we have forgotten that it is not reasonable for an adult to argue with a four-year old over anything. Children should be trained to obey, and to obey immediately. There could come a day when their life depends on immediate, unquestioning obedient, but whether the situation is life or death, this kind of obedience is what the scripture sets forth and a proper expectation. Disobedience is rebellion (1 Sam 15:23) and it should be rooted out at the earliest age possible.
2. Absolute Honesty (Ps 58:3)
We are surrounded by a culture that promotes American legalese above Bible Christianity. In such culture, “minor untruths” and “white lies” are perfectly acceptable as long as you don’t get caught. If you believe the Bible, you know that the Devil is the father of lies (John 8:44). The common adult practice of lying to the Boss, the IRS, the Pastor, the wife, etc. usually begins with lying to the teacher, the coach, or the parent, and sadly enough, a great deal of this goes on with the knowledge (and even endorsement) of one or both parents. Such a practice will breed instability in every relationship that child will ever be a part of. Our children should be taught to “put away lying” (Eph 4:25); and they ought to reminded that God said that “all liars have their part in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone” (Rev 21:8).
3. Put the Needs of Others First (Phil 2:1-4)
This is the proper measure of maturity in a well-developed society. Fathers put the needs of their families first; mothers meet the needs of their children before their own, etc. Our children ought to be held to a similar standard of maturity. Their lusts should not dictate the needs and overall program of the family. Their selfish desires should not dictate the ministry of a church. They ought to be taught that the needs of the team, the company, or the company are greater than their own.
4. Genuine Appreciation (1 Thess 5:18)
My generation is eaten up with a sense of entitlement and younger generations are growing progressively worse. Your children should be taught that they are not owed anything. Children should be steered away from being so picky. It should be second nature to say “Thank you”, and it should be heart felt at that.
5. Earn their Keep (Gal 4:1)
It is not some form of psychological abuse to expect children to pitch in with the work load in the home. What is abusive is to never expect children to do anything in the home and then thrust them in to the world expecting them to have the capacity to make their own way. The Bible declares that “it is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth” (Lam 3:27). The not so uncommon sight of Mom at the sink, Dad on the lawn mower, and the kids on the couch is a perfect shame to Bible Christianity. Children should reasonably be expected to pull their weight and earn their keep in the home.
6. Do their Best (Col 3:23)
Be it in school, in sports, in relationships, and most certainly in church, children should be expected to their absolute best every time. If a child’s best is a “C” is a challenging subject, he should be congratulated. If a child’s best is an “A+” and he brings home a “B” he should be reproved. Solomon said it best when he said, “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might…” (Eccl 9:10). It is never too much to ask a child to do his best.
7. Espouse Your Religious Convictions (Ps 78:1-8)
If you have arrived at your religious and spiritual convictions intelligently and believe them to be correct you should have every expectation that your children might share those same convictions. No parent that believes in a literal, burning hell would want to raise a child that didn’t. It is our duty to pass along our intelligently held religious beliefs, and it proper to expect our children to espouse those same beliefs. We ought to have a desire to see our children excel us in spiritual matters.
Proper Expectations for Ourselves as Parents: If we’re going to set forth some reasonable expectations for our children, we should certainly have some reasonable expectations for our influence as parents. The truth is that our children will generally mirror our priorities, reproduce our work ethic, and they will likely do in excess the things we do in moderation. Most daunting of all, our children will largely take their conception of God and Christianity from us. God is all-powerful and we should be a consistent source of strength to our children. God is all-knowing and we should be a faithful source of guidance for our children. God is sinless and benevolent, and we should express His goodness in relating to our own children.
The hope of the righteous shall be gladness: but the expectation of the wicked shall perish. (Prov 10:28)
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01.22.10
Posted in Bible, Family at 9:57 am by Administrator
Thankfully many of the families in our church still haven’t “gotten over” our family revival from last year preached by Pastor Ron Ralph. Just this week I’ve had two people mention their listening to these messages over again. It is great material and we can make the cds available any time. But I thought I’d pass along a way to obtain more of this good material. The sermons that we heard over the course of our week long revival in 2009 were developed from a series that Bro. Ron preached in Sunday School at Cornerstone Baptist Church. Bro. Rick Owens of “Revival on Wheels” has made this series available in its entirety in .mp3 format on his website. I’ve been going back through these recordings lately for my own edification. According to Bro. Rick it changed his marriage, and no doubt, any one that will avail himself to this material with an open-heart will get a much needed blessing. You can download these messages on the family at www.revivalonwheels.com under “Audio Sermons” at the bottom of the page. By the way, if you know of anyone that makes their living driving a truck, Revival on Wheels is a great trucker ministry that makes live preaching by doctrinally sound preachers available at designated times during the week over the phone. Check out the ministry at the above link.
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08.24.09
Posted in Family at 8:20 pm by Administrator
I made a passing reference in Sunday’s message to an article on child training that I read just recently. The article, written by Michael Pearl, was entitled “Training & Example” and I thought it was a salient consideration for parents of both smaller and older (as in, say, 10-14 years old) children. It is somewhat lengthy (about 5 printed pages), but for those of you interested I have posted the article below, in its entirety.
Training and Example
by Michael Pearl
There are two aspects to child training. One is technique and the other is example.
Technique involves knowing what needs to be done, what method will work, and how to implement it. By example, we are referring to that worthy condition of the parent wherein the child is motivated to emulate the trainer. Example involves teaching and instruction, whereas technique can be implemented before the child is old enough to understand reason or interpret example.
Many of our readers have been instantly released from fear and frustration as they discovered the simple concepts of training. These truths are not new or profound. We are not revealing something we personally discovered. It is just that in our age, psychology and the media have erased the common sensibilities of parents; or, in many cases, parents have been caused to fear rather than to trust their own gut feelings. When you see your own deep, though previously buried, feelings in print, and you hear that there is practical truth in what you felt all along, it instantly frees you from fear and indecision. So many parents have said to us, “It’s just like I knew it all along, I just couldn’t put it into words.”
For a child under two, technique is nearly the whole of training. This involves anticipating the kind of behavior you expect from your child and instituting deliberate events to train to that end. For example, if the first time an infant spits out his food you put it back into his mouth and say “No,” repeating that action as many times as necessary until he swallows it, and you are thereafter consistent to never allow a single exception to your rule, you will not end up with a two-year-old brat that spits food. Nor will you end up with a six-year-old that is finicky and demanding about what he eats.
Technique comes from common sense and experience and does not depend on the character of the trainer. No one can plead inability to be a good trainer based on personal shortcomings. At an early age, parental example matters only to the extent that it affects the application of training techniques. If you are slothful and angry it may rob you of the calmness required to train, but the character fault itself will not prevent you from training your child not to be angry. Being an obese, selfish, intemperate eater yourself will not prevent you from training your small child to self-discipline. But when he is twelve, and you are demanding that he develop a little self-discipline in his eating habits, your example will be all that does matter. In other words, when children are very young, who you are is not as important as what you do by way of training. The two-year-old cannot compare values and be offended by your inconsistencies.
Now, I don’t tell you that training can occur despite your own personal discipline in order to exempt you from the need to be a good example, but to make a point about the nature of training. Parents who rely on their own example are wasting their time with the one- to three-year-olds. Children need about three or four years of applied training technique before teaching can begin to be effective.
As children get older, they begin to develop knowledge of good and evil, and as such, example begins to play a larger part. By the time they are maybe seven or eight, example will become more important than technique. When they come to a mature knowledge of good and evil—around twelve to fourteen—technique matters little, and example is paramount.
Most parents are unaware of this growing shift in their children. Before they know it, the kids reach a point where they are no longer impressed by stern words and threats. Parents are shocked when they suddenly become aware that their children are judging them. These not-so-little children suddenly show “righteous” defiance and sling accusations back at their “hypocritical” parents. Though they may not speak it, their responses say, “Who are you to tell me what’s right and wrong?” The children cease to show repentance, because they lose respect for the moral measuring stick of their parents. When they realize that their parents are demanding more than they (the parents) are willing to give, it is like finding out that there is no Santa Claus. It was all a lie. Maybe everything is a lie. Wake up parents.
Parents are the last to see this change coming. They get comfortable in a routine that has worked well thus far. They successfully intimidated and bullied the kids into compliance. It sometimes took a while, but the bluster of the parents eventually dominated. But not anymore. It is too late for training to be effective apart from godly example. And the kids are far too mature in their knowledge of good and evil to be fooled by pretense and hypocrisy. In fact, at this fresh stage of moral awakening, children’s consciences are much more sensitive and demanding than is that of adults, who have learned to accept a certain amount of hypocrisy and pretense as normal. Nothing gets by the kids. They will hold your feet to the moral fire.
The problem is that most parents get it backward. During the first years of a child’s life, when example is useless, the parents just expect the children to grow into the mold of family life. Then when the children get old enough so their selfishness is no longer cute, parents begin to try to train them out of their bad habits.
In a family where there has been no training, the parents are angry, short fused, they often raise their voices, they are always frustrated and feel as if the kids are their adversaries rather than partners. The parents’ reaction to their failure to achieve results is something rather childish itself. The kid missed training and now he has no example. When you scream at a kid to stop screaming, what is the basis of your command? Threat? When your eyes flash, your pulse soars, and impatience pours from you like a sand storm, does the command that follows carry in moral authority, or just an I’m-bigger-than-you threat? The kids started out with no training, until they were incorrigibly indulgent, and now no example, just conflict with an adult size version of themselves. You are wasting your time saying, “Do you hear me!” They don’t. They can’t. Your attitude is louder than your words. To wait until it becomes a problem and then try to apply enough pressure to fix it is like waiting for a flood as a signal to build a levy.
How did this parent/child crisis develop? The one- to three-year-old children are treated like houseplants. They are cleaned, watered, fed, loved, and made a source of entertainment and delight, while the parents trust to example for the child to learn established limitations and boundaries. “Children left to themselves bring their mother to shame.” By the time they are three, if they have not only learned all the bad habits, they have adopted them as a way of life. Unwise parents trusted to emulation, and when that didn’t work they turned to intimidation. The untrained three-year-old senses the disapproval of those around him, but he doesn’t have the wisdom or self-control to labor for approval. He responds to rejection and criticism with rebellion. The parents, having failed to train them when they were three months old, find them despicable terrors when they are three years old. The children are still not old enough to reason upon example and respond in kind. Their flesh is in full control with no restraints through training. When children grow to about four years old, they have assumed an adversarial role—same as the parents. The parents bare down even more with threats and punishments. At the age of six or eight the children begin to make judgments about their parents’ shortcomings. At this point your life overpowers your words. By grounding, lecturing, balling out, and spanking parents think they are teaching the child right from wrong. They think they are training.
Much of the confusion and failure to this point is a result of ignorance on the part of parents. They took too much for granted and were always just a little behind the child. The child is the leader. The parents become reactors, always on the verge of meltdown. They are running along behind, disapproving and trying to pick up the pieces. They were not out front training. It is the difference between training a dog not to leave the yard or waiting until he gets a habit of doing so and then beating him for it.
So what is the answer if you have older children and now realize you have messed up? You failed to train when they were young, and you have failed as an example. What can you do to start over? Two things. First, you must change in your own heart. Just realize that your children are not your enemies. It is your fault that they are what they are. You planted the garden and failed to weed it, then you went in with a weed eater and destroyed half the plants. Don’t blame the garden. Repent. Admit your own failure and become humble. Depending on the age of your child, you will need to employ a combination of training and example. To the degree that your child can perceive your own inconsistencies, you must become a new person. Your child’s bitterness will continue where you are demanding more than you are willing to be yourself. If your child is older, he/she must be brought to repentance through the goodness and example of your own heart.
Especially for children twelve or older (give or take two years) you are dealing with the soul of an adult, not in mind or social grace, but the soul of an adult nonetheless. You cannot override the spirit of that child. You may still have a few more years where intimidation will gain outward compliance, but the soul of the child will grow away from yours unless you get real.
Your twelve-year-old is the best psychologist in the world. You can fool your prayer partner, your counselor, your church, but you will not fool that child. You must exemplify all that you want your child to become. Your child must love your soul and desire to be a part of it. Your love and righteousness must pull admiration from your child. It is too late for impersonal training techniques. There are still some training tools available to be applied to older children, but they only enforce the communication of our souls, they do not replace it.
Parent, God is calling us to continual repentance. Our children are our ultimate fruit. A teenager is a revelation of parents. Their maturity is harvest time. The wheat and tares are made manifest. Other than a recording made in secret, children are the only failures that talk back to us, that become an advertisement of our past. Our children will be evidence, admissible in the court of heaven. Let us repent daily and walk in truth with a pure heart. Love must flow from us to all the world, encompassing our children as the early dew settles over a garden. Without love all my discipline and lectures are as the clang of a garbage truck, a truck that leaves garbage rather than picks it up.
Repent, not for the sake of your children, but for the love of your Savior who desires your pure fellowship. Repent for eternity’s sake. Time is short. Repent because holiness is the pleasure of God and we are made and redeemed for holiness. Holiness is our eternal state, so enter into it as deeply as you can. God is first found at the cross, but after that, He is found enthroned in holiness. Know God if your children are to know him. Love God if your children are to love him. Repent if your children are to repent. And walk as you would have your children walk.
“No Greater Joy, 1000 Pearl Road, Pleasantville, TN 37033″. http://www.nogreaterjoy.org
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08.21.09
Posted in Family at 7:06 am by Administrator
We must be careful not to underestimate the influence of preaching upon the little ears for which we’re responsible. While we may think they don’t catch a lot of what is being said those little minds are often soaking up much more than we realize. We recently held a family revival and the preacher gave an illustration of family time spent together. He told of he and his family getting out in the backyard after (or during) a good rain, and practicing sliding in to homeplate (in the mud!). I know Taylor (my oldest) was listening to all of the messages, but this little story was particularly memorable for him. Every few days he’s been asking about learning to “slide in to homeplate”. Well today I could put him off no more. The pictures tell the story. It was a great time, but also a reminder of the impressionable minds and hearts that are sitting under the preaching of the word of God: “take heed to what ye hear” (Mark 4:24).
P.S. For the life of me I can’t remember the proof-text for playing in the mud!
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06.16.09
Posted in Bible, Family, Uncategorized at 10:49 am by Administrator
In my regular preaching I commonly make reference to the evils of television (particularly content and quantity). When we lived in Crestview we had basic cable with about 20 channels. When we made the move to Brewton we made the simple transition to no cable, dish, antenna, etc. This is easily one of the best practical moves we ever made. Since our family has been largely delivered from television, I’ve gotten quite comfortable speaking about the evils of television, and I sincerely feel like I can see those evils more clearly than ever. For the discerning mind, there is evidence on every hand of the negative impact of too much television including increased materialism, decreased morality, an unnaturally short attention span in young people, and a generally warped worldview of so many with an overexposure to the news media. These are my own observations. I commonly get some bewildered, “here-we-go-again” sort of looks from many folks when I make reference to this subject (actually, they’re faces are probably just fixed that way from watching too much TV). I’ve been interested to see a number of recent headlines from secular news sources (or “objective” sources depending on how much TV you watch), regarding this matter. They include:
“Unhappy people watch more TV: study” See here
Study links viewing adult-themed TV to earlier sex in teens See here
Study: TV May Inhibit Babies’ Language Development See here
“If we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater…” 1 John 5:9a
But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. Hebrews 5:14
It seems as though even the lost world is catching on to what should be obvious to Christian people with a little discernment. Maybe some of that info and admonition is more than just preacher rant!
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02.24.09
Posted in Family, Missions at 9:00 am by Administrator
A Congregational Pastor in New England in the late 1700’s, early 1800’s, along with his wife, raised a family of several children, as the scripture says, “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord”. This included faithful church attendance of course and daily Bible-readings at the dinner table. One of those children had a particularly sharp mind and wound up attending Brown University and graduating as the Valedictorian in his class. Unfortunately, as so many young men since him, he was robbed of his faith by his professors and peers and became a Christ-rejecting Deist. At the urging of his father to enter the ministry the young man exploded with anger in the presence of his mother, denouncing their faith and declaring his highly-educated, Christless view of religion. That young man left home shortly after that to chase his dream of being a playwright in New York City. After a string of failures he headed west only to be faced with the death of his best-friend from college, the very person from whom he had adopted his deist views. The questions that the death of his friend raised in this young man’s mind would not let him rest and he at last returned home and then went on to Seminary as an unsaved enquirer, where he would be gloriously saved. That same young man would return home shortly thereafter and join the very church that his father pastored, accepting the church and the faith that he had renounced years earlier.
I discovered this story today in a biography that our family is reading, and it was a reminder of the many wayward children and hurting parents that I know. While the story did not recall the prayers of that Congregational pastor and his wife, I sure believe they were praying. Don’t stop praying for those children! Your family may get their miracle yet, just like the Judson family. As heartwarming as the story is, I must say that the young man mentioned above did not stay in that little Congregational church. He would eventually leave home and country to be the first American foreign missionary: Adoniram Judson, missionary to Burma.
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12.19.08
Posted in Country, Family at 10:01 pm by Administrator
In the upcoming Congress we will likely see a concerted effort to ratify the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child in order to bring the United States into compliance with international law as it pertains to “children’s rights”.
This week Owen has gotten two spankings. They weren’t horrid and frightful events. They were necessary exercises of correction. Such occurences are more common than I’d like (Owen is a bit stronger-willed than my other two have been), but they are not tramatic and they are not abusive. If the CRC is ratified I would likely lose this reasonable right, and my disciplinary methods would be subject to the scrutiny of foreign humanists.
Earlier this week Kelly had to reprove Taylor for going further away from the house than she was comfortable with, without mentioning to her where he would be playing. Under the UN policy that will be under consideration by our own governmental leaders, Taylor could potentially appeal to the government for a review of the unfavorable (in his own mind) decision that his mother made.
Noah has been told twice today that he may not play an educational game on the computer that he had asked about. Under the CRC this could be a violation of his right to leisure (no I’m not kidding), and if believed by a social worker to be in Noah’s best interest, my decision may be overridden to allow him to play the game (after all, it was educational).
All of this sounds insane, and it is. Someone has said, “Truth is always scarier than fiction” and this latest effort by the one-worlders is nothing less than frightening. It could mean the end of our right to home-educate, and it could ultimately mean the end of our rights as parents to provide religious instruction to our children based on our own Biblical convictions.
As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. Isaiah 3:12
According to Edward Gibbon in his Magnus Opus, The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire, the number one reason for the fall of Rome was the undermining of the home which is the basis of the rest of society. I’m upset about the coldblooded murder of unborn children. I’m disgusted by the disregard for traditional marriage and the acceptance of homosexuality. I’m saddened by the rampant rate of divorce in our country. I’m most of all disappointed by the spiritual decline of the church. When you consider all of that, the only thing this country has going for it is a handful of Christians still raising their children according to Bible prinicples. When that “right” is taken away, where does that leave a nation?
In the Bible the parents are the one’s with the rights. Children have the right to live a long life if they obey their parents (Eph 6:1-3).
If you’re curious abou the Convention on the Rights of the Child you can “google” it or visit .
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12.13.08
Posted in Family, Missions at 3:22 am by Administrator
By the grace of God, I am back in Brewton and happy to be with my family again. My internet access has been extremely limited for the past week so I haven’t been able to give much update on the happenings in Africa. Our trip to Zambia was an overall success. We departed from the Copperbelt Province on Monday, and thus concluded our stay at Kafulafuta and the ministry leg of our trip (or so we thought). The flight to Livingstone was very late (nobody gets in a hurry in Zambia), but we made it to the Southern Province without incident and were met by a very gracious, very patient missionary named Joe Haden. Joe and his wife Tammy have been in Livingstone for four years and permitted us to stay in their guest house (not to mention fed us several meals, and carted us around the city) at no cost. We had a great visit in Livingstone including visits to Victory Falls, and a National Park to see the animals, and a White-water rafting trip down the Zambizi River. It was a great time for Dad and me. I also got the unexpected opportunity to preach on Wednesday night to preach at the Livingstone Fundamental Baptist Church where two young men were saved and baptized! There’s much more to tell and I’m looking forward to sharing the trip testimony to the church very soon. Perhaps the most wonderful sight of the trip was my family waiting for me in the Pensacola Airport. Two weeks is a long time you know. On a personal note, my sweet wife, after God has blessed her dress-making endeavor went out and bought me a recliner (something I’ve wanted for a long time) while I was gone and had it delivered all with her own money. How industrious this little lady has gotten to be! We’ve tremendously enjoyed our day together as a family and I’m looking forward to the Christmas Parade Outreach tomorrow.
Scroll down for more trip pics
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10.31.08
Posted in Family at 8:12 pm by Administrator
Back in July we bought the playhouse that you see above. Kelly had saved for months and all the grandparents pitched in to help pay for it (this is this year’s Christmas gift for the boys). It has sat in five boxes on the carport here at home up until last week. I promised the boys we would put it together… and then I peaked at the directions! “It should take two moderately skilled adults approximately 20-24 hours to assemble this clubhouse.” This was an obvious problem. There is no one around here that is moderately skilled! It really looked like it would not get put together before the Zambia trip. Today we finished it, and by “we” I mean me and Taylor and Noah (and Owen a little). Perhaps none of that sounds especially spiritual for the “Pastor’s Blog”, but for me it is a promise kept!
“Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.” Ecclesiastes 5:5
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